Wild Celebrations Greet Anarchy Protocol

Bertarelli Pyramid Nears Completion

Carlsbad, CA — Anarchist manpower was doubled today in an effort to assure that erection of the gigantic Bertarelli Pyramid meets the accelerated schedule, to be completed in time for Bertarelli's mummification and ascension into the Afterworld upon death. This action follows in the wake of worldwide acclamation and global celebrations after the publication of the much anticipated Sailing Anarchy Protocol at the stroke of midnight under the Moon of the Winter Solstice.

Builders expect the Bertarelli Pyramid to be ready in time for the Great Sailor's mummification and ascension into the Afterworld upon death. Among the items to be entombed with Bertarelli are the 2,500 odd scrolls that make up his Protocol archive, and his obedient servant, Sir Keith Mills.

With Anarchists worldwide concurring that the lame duck America's Cup Leader, suffering from severe paranoia, is expected to be defeated and ceremonially sacrificed within 18 months, swift completion of the towering structure is "of paramount priority," according to some 300 million Anarchy Challenge insiders.

"Only the most gigantic tomb ever created will be worthy of the Great Bertarelli," said former America's Cup Defender Dennis Connor. "As his mortal subjects, it is our holy duty to provide Bertarelli with a burial commensurate with his stature, in order that he may enter the Realm of Death bedecked with raiments and honors so that he may take his rightful place beside the mighty Sun God, Ra."

According to project overseer and SAYC Emporer Scot Tempura, the 118,000-ton pyramid, which is visible from a distance of over 40 miles and has already cost the lives of some 50,000 Anarchists, will serve not only as Bertarelli's conduit to the Empire of the Gods, but also as an earthly repository of the Swiss Deity's once-large but declining wealth.

Sir Keith told reporters, "It is my honor and duty to have my sinus passages ceremonially packed with sand before my still-living, pain-racked body is forever locked with my leader's within the Great Bertarelli's final resting place. Let us all praise Osiris."

The soon-to-be-former America's Cup Defender's mummified husk will be placed in the burial chamber as perfectly intact as possible. To this end, Bertarelli's internal organs have already been removed and preserved, encased in ornate protective ceramic vessels and sealed in chocolate.

"This is the spleen that brought down the New Zealand Empire," said his longtime skipper Brad Butterworth, holding aloft several of Bertarelli's just-removed innards. "And these are the lungs that fought with such wind in the Great Crisis of the Golden Gate."

According to reports, the massive burial monument staggers the imagination of all who behold it in its sheer splendor and majesty. Exquisite engravings, inlaid with gold and silver fern leaves, depict the cycle of the Alinghi Cup Creation Myth, with the deified Bertarelli symbolically castrated by his mother, giving birth to the sun and moon, and then being dismembered by Set, his scattered bodily fragments forming the stars of the southern night sky.

Despite the great sanctity of its Inner Chamber, the Bertarelli Pyramid may attract anti-anti-Anarchist raiders bent on desecrating and robbing it of its vast treasuries of gold, jewels, rare Alinghi cartoon prints on fine dyed cloth, movie stills and a parchment from A.D. 2007 depicting his penultimate achievement on July the Vth.

"Thieves and infidels must not violate the Great Bertarelli's sanctity!" Bertarelli high-priest Hamish Ross proclaimed. "All those who tread these halls without the Seven Keys of Lucien will die victims of the dreaded Curse of Bertarelli's Tomb!"

He later added, "Mwahh ha ha ha ha!"

The tomb will also be protected from anti-anti-anti-Anarchist marauders by the Deity of Desafio until his golden water bowl dries out, whereupon the Great Bertarelli's dearly beloved dog will be buried alongside him too.

Though the tomb itself will be off limits to all non-divine earthly beings, Anarchists will be allowed access to a nearby altar and bronze idol of Bertarelli, where America's Cup pilgrims may come to worship the former Defender and petition his intervention in prayer.

A gigantic statuary portrait of the Bertarelli, standing over 100 feet high, will also gaze down on worshippers from a gigantic pedestal adorned with the inscription, "I Am Ernesto Bertarelli, King Of The Cup. Look Upon My Protocols, Ye Mighty, And Despair."